As I type, the Fitbit on my wrist taps the desk at random with each keystroke, the boys are playing in their newly organized rooms, and I (admittedly gleefully) smell like lemon Pledge. The Christmas tree came down and the furniture is rearranged...a refreshing, domestic cleansing of the attitude.
I am THAT girl. The one who revels in fresh starts. The one who had her hair chopped chin length in whimsy. The one who throws herself into each new season with a revamp in organization and a kick of energy. Except that one time...the time captured by my camera above, but we'll get back to that...
Her name was Glenna...
I'll never forget the mischievous curve of her grin as she retold stories from her newlywed days. She had a lot to say about what we "young folks" should be doing. I suppose that's pretty common for ladies her age, though something was different about Glenna. Whether it was the knowing twinkle of her eye, or the fact that she had been married for over fifty years, she had not only earned the respect of my attention, she commanded it.
"The very first thing I did every morning was make our bed", she proudly reported with a nod. Her hands were clasped in front of her with impeccable posture. Proud and legs crossed daintily, it was her mouth that had no filter. Her candor was fresh and real...the kind that made you giggle inside but not so loudly that you would interrupt her train of thought. (To be read in a Southern accent):
"For God's sake, it's not some work area where crap should accumulate. Clean your bedrooms, ya'll. Did a bomb go off? It should be a special place where you and your husband get away from clutter...and noises...and the kids. You gotta talk to each other. Who wants to shove a pile of stuff onto the floor before you take your clothes off and have 'married-people' time? If you don't make stuff like that a priority, it'll all just go 'kaput'."
She had a point. This 50's-era housewife was schooling me in much more than house management. Was my marriage a priority or was my marital bed extra workspace? Was I giving all of my leftovers to my husband at the end of the day or giving him my best effort? Was my bedroom a welcome, comforting place, or a disaster area? Based on the picture above of my unofficial laundry-folding station, you can infer the answer to those questions!
The time was long overdue for me to make my marriage a comforting, welcoming place...a place for two, not another "maintenance" to-do on the list. It was time for me to clean my bedroom first, before any other area of the house.
A matter-of-fact reminder. Maybe one of you needs this reminder in 2015? Glenna was right. If we fail to keep our priorities in line, there won't be a marriage left by the time we hold still long enough to notice. I join you this year in putting relationship first...even when the work never seems to dwindle. I join you in risking vulnerability with our partners, messy kitchens, and things left unchecked on the to-do list.
In the words of Glenna, "for 'God's sake', clean the bedroom, ya'll!" Then get go get busy tousling up that beautifully made bed...;)
"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." Proverbs 5:18-19
1. Who needs to be a relationship priority for you in 2015?
2. What is some of the best advice you've received from somebody that you consider to be a mature believer, wise?
3. What, if anything, is holding you back? Surrender it!
M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy. Earns Crossfit participation trophies. Disaster cook. Enthusiastic wife. #Boymom. Clutches her faith, not her pearls.