I'm in over my head.
Who am I to think I belong here?
I look the part, but maybe they'll discover that I'm not good enough after all.
Three years. Three years it took me to work up the nerve to buy a Jen Hatmaker book. "She's so cute. You'll love her style", they told me. She's so darn successful. I can't help but compare myself to her.
It sat on my desk for six months. The other day, I decided to read three random pages from the middle. I set it back down again. Just as I suspected - I like her AND she's adorable. I think I should probably try to be a little more adorable.
Fill in your own blank: I should try to be a little more ______________ (someone else's strength).
I was out of town last week for a writer's conference. It was held at a gorgeous campus in the mountains of North Carolina. With anticipation, I packed my cutest business-casual outfits...well, at least the ones that were still in decent shape with no finger-printed, little boy remnants sticking to them. I also threw in a few pairs of my favorite heels.
Did I mention I was staying in the mountains?
On day one, I felt sassy. I even straightened my wild, curly hair and remembered to wear jewelry. On day two I pridefully overcame my body's outcry for running shoes and managed to appear put-together for meetings. On day three, and with pity in their eyes, my newfound friends encouraged me to go back to the room to retrieve my flats at lunchtime. I'll also note that by then, my hair had returned to its signature halo-like frizz.
I hiked a mountain in heels four-out-of-five days. I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as a little deranged, but I looked the way I thought I was "supposed" to look. Never mind the fact that I could've very well lost a pinky toe in the battle for professionalism!
You know why people love Jen Hatmaker? Because she's happy being Jen Hatmaker. She doesn't try to squeeze flip-flopped feet into ballet pointe shoes. She can do things that I just can't do.
But you know, I can do things that she can't do. I'm a storyteller in ways that are so wonderfully God-in-me.
It takes all of us to complete this amazing, ragamuffin group of people we call the Church. Heels. Flip-flops. Sneakers. Sandals. It's like a DSW of the best kind!
What's special about you that God wants you to embrace?
Are there insecurities that are getting in the way of your dreams?
Typing in Slippers,
An excerpt from those random three pages:
"Hi! It's Me - God. Good morning! My name is Spiritual Assignment...I'd like you to write a book on studying My Word. I realize that your children are one, three, and five and you have no child care or assistance. I understand that you haven't showered in three days and are wearing the same clothes as yesterday. No, you haven't been published. True, you have no literary connections or even a basic idea of what you're doing. Right, no one would have any reason to read anything you write. So see? Now's the perfect time, and you are the ideal candidate." That was in April 2004. That November, I had a contract on a completed book, plus four more they assumed I could write.
(Ms. Understood, paraphrased)
Now may the God of peace...equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13:20-21)
Photo Credit: Nikolai Hegelstad
M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy. Earns Crossfit participation trophies. Disaster cook. Enthusiastic wife. #Boymom. Clutches her faith, not her pearls.