Who loves this commercial!?! That guy, the one at 0:01, he was me at 20-years-old. The I'm never getting married me had a lot of reasons to stay single too. Do any of these resonate with you?
"Marriage is hard. It's expensive. It doesn't last. Husbands rule the roost and disregard women's professions. I'll be subjected to nothing but diapers and dishes. My brain will rot from being subjected to nothing but diapers and dishes. I can do it myself. I was made for more than just serving a man."
Yep, I know what you're thinking. 20-year-old me was a real charmer. Truthfully, guys must have found me just a little "intense" in that season of my life. I dated a lot, but connected deeply to few. If I'd been completely honest about my intentions, I would've admitted that I was flat-out scared and a good bit selfish.
I got married. Sure enough and with time on my side, I've discovered that my husband isn't the enemy of all things feminine and capable. He isn't the bully I had once feared in my secret thoughts, forcing my hand into all of his plans for our family. In fact, the opposite is true - he married me because I was tenacious and had dreams for the future.
The people closest to us are really just mirrors by which we see the "real us".
The good. The bad. The ugly. They witness all of it, their reflective feedback calling us into accountability, even when we're in denial about our own motives. There's a growth and an honesty that comes from nowhere else except our loving, committed relationships. When we eliminate the option of running away, of giving up, God shows us what we're really made of.
And yes, that means we're left vulnerable and SEEN. It can be the scariest, most uncomfortable, situation we could sign up for. Not all of us are called to marriage, but we're tested and refined by God, nonetheless. Be brave, my friends. Invest in your tribe. He uses each and every relationship to whisper His perfect wisdom into our lives. Will we listen?
So glad He changed my mind,
1. Has God ever changed your mind? About what?
2. Who are your mirrors?
3. What's been your experience of marriage or friendship? What might be standing in the way of gracefully accept feedback and advice?
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. (Prov. 13:20)
This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’” (Zech. 13:9)
Believer. Wife. Mom. Writer. Marriage and Family Therapist. Accidental Speaker. Crossfitter and Total Book Nerd.
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PEOPLE I FOLLOW:
BECAUSE I LEARN:
BECAUSE I LAUGH:
Elizabeth Laing Thompson
Liz Curtis Higgs
BECAUSE I ADVOCATE:
Juli Slattery at Authentic Intimacy
BECAUSE I CRY (HAPPILY):
Inspiring Writing Groups:
Suzanne Eller's #LiveFreeThrusday
Holley Gerth's #CoffeeForYourHeart
Kelly Balarie's #RaraLinkup
Jennifer Duke Lee's #TellHisStory
Susan Mead's #DanceWithJesus