"Somedays she has no idea how she'll do it. But every single day, it still gets done." Unknown
It's August already. How did that happen? Time flies as the beach beckons, complete with an oversized umbrella and a glass of sweet tea. Many of us have been on the wedding circuit these past few months. Rather than traveling the Tour de Nuptiale, perhaps you've celebrated an anniversary recently. Summertime brings more than its share of opportunities to examine our own relationships as we lend our support to others'.
Last week we discussed the struggle and biblical significance of separation and divorce. I received feedback from you in response - from questions, to gratitude for “going there.”
A friend's comment stayed with me throughout the week. “Oh good,” she'd said. “I’m glad you’re talking about that because I never know what to say when somebody tells me they’re having problems.”
It’s a common struggle, and none of us enjoy foot-in-the-mouth moments. So here are seven easy, helpful (and fairly safe) things to say or do as a friend or family member confronts divorce.
“We never say the ‘D’ word in our house,” the older woman informs me with pride. “We both know it’s not an option so we make it work. We’ve been married over thirty years now.”
As I listen, I’m obviously happy for her. I also wonder if she and her husband are “good fighters.” Does one partner always get his or her way? Does the other concede and stay secretly resentful? My therapist mind kicks into action, but I decide it’s none of my business to ask…maybe another time.
Wedding bells echo, rings still carry their sheen, and picture frames grace the walls. It’s the making of a home. The promise of forever manifests in smells of fresh paint and dinners by candlelight. The honeymoon is but a memory, but the excitement of building a life remains. Exhilarating. Comfortable. Most couples never even see it coming.
Those who've experienced depression, anxiety, or other ailments understand the devastation these labels bring. “Anxiety” sounds like weakness. Maybe stressed-out is less threatening? We prefer exhausted to depressed and we’d rather describe ourselves as detail-oriented, instead of obsessive. The terms used in medicine sound impersonal, the exact opposite of the intimacy we long for in relationships.
God's in the business of miraculous healing, but He also charges us to be His “hands and feet..."
Here we are. Face hidden beneath my straw hat, tiny dots of sun sneak through the spaces of the finely woven material. I'm sprawled on my back, half-daydreaming and eyelids heavy, when I feel his hand rest on my arm. It took a couple of days for my husband and I to discover our old "relaxed" selves, but we're here now. Present. Counting no time except beats between each wave lapping the shoreline. This is our view for the day and I'm convinced it's a glimpse of heaven.
We've discussed stress together in the past. We've explored topics like our brain chemistry, families, prayer tips, symptoms of stress, and stress eating. This time, I'm taking a different angle, so here are three (over-looked) reasons that you need to get away...
My family's a little weird. Well, maybe I'm just weird and my husband goes along with it. It doesn't phase him when I come up with a "let's try something new" idea. In fact, one of my very favorite things about that man is that he's never bowed down to other people's opinions about him. "Sure, why not?" is the response I usually get. I've spent a lifetime trying to figure out how to do that - letting God sand down the rough edges of my "permission-seeking" over the years.
This is exactly how we ended up with a Christmas tree in our living room.
Hello there and happy November! I'm glad you're back. If you're new to the Gritty Pearl, welcome! We're in the second week of a three-part discussion on intimacy and relationships. We were challenged last week with the issue of physical intimacy and married life. It can be a tender, sometimes nose-crinkling conversation, though it's hugely important to those of us maintaining marriages, or who are hoping to become married in the future. This week, we tackle body image and the ways that our insecurities can affect our relationships with the people who love us the most.
Any tired folks out there? Curious ones? After reading the title of this blog, are any of you thinking, "Lord knows, I can't remember the last time I was physically intimate! Maybe last Tuesday?" As we enter a mini-series on intimacy, we'll be talking about emotional vulnerability, physical satisfaction, and the unique and biblical opportunities that we've been given through the gift of commitment. Join us!
I stand a silent witness, his tears drying in their own time, leaving salt-powdered trails down that beautiful, round face. His hands are clenched over his eyes and, despite the fact that I have discovered him crouched behind the bathroom door, he's certain that he's invisible so long as they keep tightly closed. Cheeks pink and hair rumpled, my precious three-year-old sits motionless, expressing feelings in the only way that he knows how. Unable to put a name to the hurt in his heart, he hides - which makes all the sense in the world.
Believer. Wife. Mom. Writer. Marriage and Family Therapist. Accidental Speaker. Crossfitter and Total Book Nerd.
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PEOPLE I FOLLOW:
BECAUSE I LEARN:
BECAUSE I LAUGH:
Elizabeth Laing Thompson
Liz Curtis Higgs
BECAUSE I ADVOCATE:
Juli Slattery at Authentic Intimacy
BECAUSE I CRY (HAPPILY):
Inspiring Writing Groups:
Suzanne Eller's #LiveFreeThrusday
Holley Gerth's #CoffeeForYourHeart
Kelly Balarie's #RaraLinkup
Jennifer Duke Lee's #TellHisStory
Susan Mead's #DanceWithJesus