You did it! You rocked childbirth and motherhood came at you in full force.
You dreamed and prayed. Waited. Suffered those nasty underbelly cramps as you shimmied your way through Zumba eight months pregnant.
You and your husband even put together the crib a whole week before your due date. Who cares if one of the bolts is on backwards and you can’t remove it, short of a construction miracle? The eco-friendly, allergen-free, non-gender biased dust-ruffle covers it up anyway.
As far as we’re concerned, you #NailedIt!
In the thick of the mom routine, you're like a pro on autopilot. Nothing surprises you anymore.
Feed. Wash kids. Nap. Potty train. Send to school. Clean house. Do personal work somewhere in between. Love husband. Repeat.
You could do this thing in your sleep. In fact, you are sleeping—standing at the kitchen sink. But somewhere in the chaos of the daily grind, it's easy to lose perspective. Moms try to be everything to everybody. We love hard--so hard that we don’t realize it when we’ve gone off course.
Here are some bad habits we need to kick as moms...
The stars aligned.
You and your tot finally finished the last day of medicine drops for that eye funk that cost you two pallets of eye shadow and a tube of mascara. And non-contagion means freedom!
You got the sitter days in advance.
Tonight’s the big night and you’ll make it happen—even if it means keeping your skinny jeans closed with a hair band looped through the button hole.
It took an act of God, but it was worth it. You're out of the house!
You finally sit down together and you know that moment—you look into your guy’s eyes and you seriously have to concentrate on topics to talk about.
Your brain’s gone all mama, and the problem is that a full-grown man is peering across the table from you. Stringing together interesting, big-people sentences feels like a task equal to earning the Nobel Peace Prize.
But have no fear, pretty mama. Here are five things you should talk about on date night:
Side-by-side, my husband and I flick through the TV menu until we can agree on a show. Sure, Designated Survivor. Why not? We're tired, not picky. We sink deep beneath our fuzzy blankets, oblivious to any world events happening while entertaining family over the weekend. A naive privilege.
As a main character, Emily Rhodes, struggles with her relationship with her father, a White House co-worker suggests that she prioritize family over work...
"The world will always be on fire," he tells her. "Go."
It's more than a week later, and the painful admissions of women around the world linger with me. You, who come to find rest and inspiration in this little corner of the internet, are my heartbeat. So this week, I'm reminding you of some resources, just in case you're still nursing bruises in the wake of #MeToo. The discussion has dwindled, and the chatter has begun to die. Even so, you're not forgotten.
Click on the pictures below for a new article, "Why Men Must Speak Up About Sexual Assault" and also, for "How to Spot Emotional Abuse" and Three Ways to Help."
Don't forget to visit a few of the writers who've shared their work at the #GritUp Collective below!
With you and for you,
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others;
For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness;
And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
~ Audrey Hepburn ~
My Kids Can Be Selfish and So Can I: Three Ideas for Building "Otherness" (And #GritUp Writer's Collective)
We say the wrong thing and stutter.
We say the right thing, but it’s not well received.
We get stuck without a response and freeze.
Our intentions are misunderstood.
And then it happens. Defensiveness moves in like a crouching tiger, ready for the kill.
It's August already. How did that happen? Time flies as the beach beckons, complete with an oversized umbrella and a glass of sweet tea. Many of us have been on the wedding circuit these past few months. Rather than traveling the Tour de Nuptiale, perhaps you've celebrated an anniversary recently. Summertime brings more than its share of opportunities to examine our own relationships as we lend our support to others'.
“We never say the ‘D’ word in our house,” the older woman informs me with pride. “We both know it’s not an option so we make it work. We’ve been married over thirty years now.”
As I listen, I’m obviously happy for her. I also wonder if she and her husband are “good fighters.” Does one partner always get his or her way? Does the other concede and stay secretly resentful? My therapist mind kicks into action, but I decide it’s none of my business to ask…maybe another time.
My hands are ripped, there’s chalk smudged across my midsection, and my mind is fried from a killer week of stress. Forget controlling my thoughts, they’re as powder-swirled and black as my t-shirt. There’s no more patience left for myself. I’ve given it all away...
Wedding bells echo, rings still carry their sheen, and picture frames grace the walls. It’s the making of a home. The promise of forever manifests in smells of fresh paint and dinners by candlelight. The honeymoon is but a memory, but the excitement of building a life remains. Exhilarating. Comfortable. Most couples never even see it coming.
Those who've experienced depression, anxiety, or other ailments understand the devastation these labels bring. “Anxiety” sounds like weakness. Maybe stressed-out is less threatening? We prefer exhausted to depressed and we’d rather describe ourselves as detail-oriented, instead of obsessive. The terms used in medicine sound impersonal, the exact opposite of the intimacy we long for in relationships.
God's in the business of miraculous healing, but He also charges us to be His “hands and feet..."
M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy. Earns Crossfit participation trophies. Disaster cook. Enthusiastic wife. #Boymom. Clutches her faith, not her pearls.