"Aren't you bothered when people lie to you?", she asked with steel set deep in her eyes. Her beauty was so ingenuous, faint freckles had strewn themselves across her nose at the first sign of a southern springtime. On her insides, I could see nothing but promise, but she was tired. From her seventeen-year-old worldview, most people were unapologetic liars. Selfish. Simple. Untrustworthy. Her Mom dumped her off at counseling and away she went to do the family's shopping, as if to say, "Just fix her."
That smart little girl had enough. One day she made a really poor, out-loud decision. There was no dragging it back into the dark. It was all hers - real and tangible, refreshingly true. There were no attempts to deny it. In all the chaos that was commonplace in her family, her choice resulted in a predictable outcome. Soothing, cooling, Discipline. "I see you hurting", it whispers. "Let's talk." And so there we sat, connected over nothing but a little honesty and a safe place to land. I think about her every now and then.
Aren't you bothered when people lie to you?
To that Girl - the one who had the gift to see,
Oh how it plunges into the deepest places of the heart to look in the eyes of somebody you love and know they're hiding a piece of themselves behind their back. "You can't have it", they draw the line. We humans, made of dust and Breath, we who attempt to paste ourselves back together by super glue and vices, we lie for so many reasons. Malice. Insecurity. Pain. Fear. None of them alright, all due to motives that only God can explain.
If we never discover the place where our sweet souls end and theirs begin, the wounds will be laid bare for re-injury the rest of our lives. They are them and you are you. Their lies have nothing to do with you and have everything to do with hiding. You'll meet people who have hidden and ran and lied for so long they no longer remember the details of their lives. They'll be forced to piece together remnants of how they wish their lives had looked, as they recount the stories that make them who they are today.
So yes, I'm bothered, but no, I won't wear their lies as my precious worth. You shouldn't either.
You can't fix or change people. You can't love 'em "truthful" either. You certainly can't bend or mold or live large enough to fill the void that only Healer-God might fill, should they allow it. You'll never be good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough to satisfy them, nobody will. Their lies serve a protective purpose, or a manipulative one, and until that purpose fades away, so on will the lies be told.
So beautiful girl, run far and fast toward your Heavenly Father.
Trust that He'll send kind somebodies,
Trust that He'll send brave somebodies who sit comfortably inside their very own selves,
Trust that He'll send the somebodies who are able to share their lives with you, unashamed and honest.
Most importantly, rely on God and be that somebody.
Still a fan,
"And now, Lord, You are God, and Your words are truth, and You have promised this good thing to Your servant." 2 Samuel 7:28
Photo Credit: Julia Caesar
M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy. Earns Crossfit participation trophies. Disaster cook. Enthusiastic wife. #Boymom. Clutches her faith, not her pearls.