The other day, a friend of mine shared that he’s not afraid to get married, but he’s terrified to have kids.
I asked him jokingly, “Is it the ‘keeping them alive’ part? Or the ‘making sure you don’t raise monsters?’” “Both!” He answered with a raise of his eyebrows and a smile.
He’s not wrong. Parenting can be terrifying.
And exhausting. Confusing and bittersweet. But if you ask any mom or dad still standing after they've launched their kids into the world, they’ll tell you it was the best thing they ever did. The ultimate. Very. Best.
Parenting isn’t about perfection.
It’s allowing a child to know an imperfect, love-you-more-than-life advocate—a parent who messes up all the time, but who would never leave them.
We can never be fully prepared for the experience of parenting, but we can do our best. Here are:
10 Best Things You Can Say to Say to Your Kids.
Do you want to know the secret to divorce-proofing your marriage? Me too.
We don't have to search far to discover thousands of couples who struggle with the disillusion of a not-so-new-anymore love. Maybe you know them...perhaps even two of those faces looked back at you from the mirror this morning.
Again, me too at points throughout the years.
If you've been wondering about what to do with your stalled relationship, know that you're not alone. Sometimes couples suffer in silence, but it doesn't mean that tough patches aren't common.
Take for instance these couples' admissions. When marriage therapist and author, Laura Taggart, asked them, "What are the biggest surprises and challenges about marriage?," this is what they had to say:
"How the little stuff can become big stuff so quickly."
"How quickly the 'young love' turns into the 'old couple.' I feel like we have to schedule sex just to make it happen, while we used to be so spontaneous and romantic."
"I didn't imagine how compromising would be as hard as it can be sometimes."
"How much the daily grind chips away at romance."
You can probably relate, so what should we do about it?
Join Laura and me for our discussion on "How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage."
Married or single, Valentine’s Day has high flop potential.
The expectations are back-breaking, the babysitters can get expensive, and who knows if the LBD still fits from five years ago?
Besides, it’s not even a “real” holiday. This year, it falls on a Wednesday, which means the day’s schedule will go on just like usual. But alas, Hallmark has made monsters out of us, myself included.
Who doesn’t secretly pine for the candlelit dinner and a glass of fancy wine?
For the compliments by the fireside or the secretly-planned getaway? And dang it, I’d love nothing more than to sausage myself into that dress collecting dust in the closet!
As it turns out, romance isn’t dead just because he put a ring on it. And it’s not lost because there seem to be demanding, little people running the household.
If getting out of the house feels harder than climbing Mount Everest this year, here’s a whole week of budget-friendly ideas to bring you closer to your spouse.
I’d rather scrub toilets than put laundry away.
Seriously. You pair those little socks together and fold the jeans just right. Then one of your angels pulls out a pair from the bottom of the pile.
You know how everything crashes over like a Jenga tower? That’s why organizing laundry seems pointless, like neatly arranging a pile of leaves for a thunderstorm.
He likes fresh towels. She likes mopped floors. How often? They argue about it.
When it comes to marriage, fighting over chores is more common than any of us care to admit.
Women say they’d rather “do it their way,” but quietly seethe, afraid to ask for help. Nobody wants to be called “a nag."
If there’s one thing that brings women together, it’s the shared experience of bringing up babies. We're proud (but sleep deprived) ticket holders on the crazy train. Slap-happy anyone?
Being a great mom is a huge undertaking, especially while keeping spouses and friends feeling loved at the same time.
Our number one goal: Keep the kids alive.
When they think they can fly...hold the glue gun “all by myself"...learn to pop a wheelie, and...
...decide that football is a great sport because “It's fun to hit people and never get in trouble.”
(True statement from a real child. I won't confirm or deny whether he's mine).
After all the parental supervision, the rest of the teaching, molding, and cuddling is icing on the cake! Every time we take a moment to appreciate the art of motherhood, we feel a little less alone in the world.
So take a hot second to relax and pour that second cup of coffee.
Here are the 10 BEST Motherhood Quotes in History...that is, in the history of the Gritty Pearl:
Quiz: How much will a hundred dollars be worth if I put it in the bank for twenty years and it grows at its current interest rate?
Answer: Enough to keep the Hallmark channel on our TV package for at least a few months.
I'll admit, I’m not great with money. My better half will tell you that it’s not that I spend too much or too little of it. I’m just not a great long-term planner. And truthfully, I’d rather get a root canal than do math for fun.
The good news: I don’t manage any accounts at your local bank.
I've counseled couples through this very issue though, and heard some crazy stories in my day. I'll pass along lessons I've learned to those of you working to keep your marriage together with more than a little duct tape and Gorilla Glue.
Here are five money decisions that ruin marriage:
You did it! You rocked childbirth and motherhood came at you in full force.
You dreamed and prayed. Waited. Suffered those nasty underbelly cramps as you shimmied your way through Zumba eight months pregnant.
You and your husband even put together the crib a whole week before your due date. Who cares if one of the bolts is on backwards and you can’t remove it, short of a construction miracle? The eco-friendly, allergen-free, non-gender biased dust-ruffle covers it up anyway.
As far as we’re concerned, you #NailedIt!
In the thick of the mom routine, you're like a pro on autopilot. Nothing surprises you anymore.
Feed. Wash kids. Nap. Potty train. Send to school. Clean house. Do personal work somewhere in between. Love husband. Repeat.
You could do this thing in your sleep. In fact, you are sleeping—standing at the kitchen sink. But somewhere in the chaos of the daily grind, it's easy to lose perspective. Moms try to be everything to everybody. We love hard--so hard that we don’t realize it when we’ve gone off course.
Here are some bad habits we need to kick as moms...
The stars aligned.
You and your tot finally finished the last day of medicine drops for that eye funk that cost you two pallets of eye shadow and a tube of mascara. And non-contagion means freedom!
You got the sitter days in advance.
Tonight’s the big night and you’ll make it happen—even if it means keeping your skinny jeans closed with a hair band looped through the button hole.
It took an act of God, but it was worth it. You're out of the house!
You finally sit down together and you know that moment—you look into your guy’s eyes and you seriously have to concentrate on topics to talk about.
Your brain’s gone all mama, and the problem is that a full-grown man is peering across the table from you. Stringing together interesting, big-people sentences feels like a task equal to earning the Nobel Peace Prize.
But have no fear, pretty mama. Here are five things you should talk about on date night:
It's been a wonderful year, and now let's look ahead!
We hope your holidays have been wonderful and that you've taken the time to immerse yourself in the beauty of the season.
Here's a little bit about what's in store for the New Year!
Here at the Site
New content is on the way, beginning Thursday, January 4th!
Are you a wife? A mom? Have you been married, or do you want to marry in the future? Maybe family life isn't going the way you thought it would.
If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "Hold up, I didn't sign up for this!"
You're not the only one.
There's a lot going on around here!
Some of you have been faithful supporters for a few years now already. You've tolerated growing pains. Responded when your heart was touched. Grown and cried. Laughed a little.
But as with life, seasons change.
I'm dying to tell you about all we have in store for 2018, but you'll hear more in the upcoming weeks...
TheGrittyPearl.com is under construction--not as much in the looks department, but with the direction and services we'll be offering in the New Year.
M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy. Earns Crossfit participation trophies. Disaster cook. Enthusiastic wife. #Boymom. Clutches her faith, not her pearls.